Still Going Crazy

Despite the craziness of the Triduum passing, I'm hardly less busy or stressed. Easter Sunday was beautiful and everything went well. If I get a chance I might just remember to post some pictures.

I'm somewhat slowed down this week by a nasty cold that has come back after 3 weeks. I have a feeling it's stress induced, because 3 weeks ago when I had it I was incredibly busy, stressed, overwhelmed, and having incredibly long days, usually not getting home after my last obligation until after 9 o'clock at night every day. Tuesday night of that week my voice started to become scratchy and sore, and quickly became worse over the next several days. By that Friday I was starting to lose my voice while helping out with our Confirmation retreat. I exacerbated the issue by singing, doing a skit, and doing a talk show workshop (repeated 4 times) on Saturday. By the last workshop, I had completely lost my voice. I could only whisper, and when I tried to talk I couldn't breathe. Part of that I know was because I was physically straining myself trying to clean up after the workshops instead of sitting down and gathering my strength, seeing how I was already exhausted. My mom made me go home at that point and my voice became a little better when I finally rested. With Sunday came an outpouring of snot and a still very sore throat. My voice didn't stop being scratchy until Tuesday.

This time, I've been thankfully somewhat less busy than I was that week, but I've been a lot more stressed. This time I haven't lost my voice or had an overly sore throat, but I sound like I'm making an honest attempt to hack up my lungs, plus I'm grabbing a tissue every five minutes to blow my nose. I was thankfully still well enough to sing this weekend (even the descant on Saturday and Sunday!) but it's still not pleasant coughing so much, and I still have a lot to get done. I can just see my debate project that I'm presenting tomorrow tanking before my eyes thanks to my teammates. Since it's peer graded, I will be begging my friends tomorrow to not grade my group too harshly. Begging. I have an annotated bibliography due Thursday that I haven't even started. I have a math test tomorrow that I still need to study more for. I have post interviews on Friday for my school that I need to prepare for. I need to catch up on my Regent's portfolio due at the end of the month (that can thankfully wait a bit longer than my other obligations). I have so much to do and not nearly enough time, because I'm one of those people that can't skimp out on a bunch of sleep to get work done, because without enough sleep (especially late at night) I'm pretty much useless.

Please pray for me that I can make it this week without losing my mind. I thought the business would end with Easter Sunday but it's only just begun.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone! I'm now home from Easter Vigil. I just love seeing all of the new members of the church being baptized. So beautiful.

But I have some really awesome news regarding my parish. My parish's name is St. Francis of Assisi, so needless to say when the new Pope took the name Francis after him we took it as a good sign. My parish is currently one of two churches that have been given Pope Francis's Apostolic Blessing. Our pastor announced it at the end of Easter Vigil and needless to say, we were all surprised! Despite a lot of people's uneasiness about Pope Francis, I'm honestly giving him more time to truly find his "groove," so to speak, as pope. And my parish still takes his name as a good sign of things to come.

I'm going to go and get some shut-eye for the night, so see you all tomorrow!

Happy Easter again!

Busy, Busy, Busy

As the title says, I have been busy, busy, busy. Class today, plus Living Station practice, then right after that choir practice that I didn't get home from until 9 tonight. Another full day of class tomorrow, and then Living Stations practice from 4-5:30, then Holy Thursday Mass that I have to be there for at 6:30. I probably won't get home from that until 9. No class on Friday, but I have to be at the church at 2:30 for the Good Friday service, and then back at the church at 5:30 for Living Stations (the actual Living Stations doesn't start until 7). I have to be at the church at 7 on Saturday for Easter Vigil. I won't get home from that until anywhere from 11-12 at night. Then back at the church on Sunday at 11:50 for Easter Sunday Mass. Won't get back from that until probably 2.

In other words, I am busy until this Sunday passes. Oh, and all the times where I don't have class or church? I'll be doing my mountains of homework and projects. Woohoo.

The rosary is pretty much the only thing keeping me sane this week.

I have all of these great post ideas and sadly they'll have to wait until all of the craziness passes. C'est la vie.

The Torture of Spring Break

Just as a warning: I tend to be over dramatic sometimes. This whole post will pretty much be me being my very over dramatic self about Spring Break. Carry on.

I mentioned it briefly in the last post, but I'm a junior in high school taking all college classes. My high school is a dual credit program, so when I take a college class, I receive both high school and college credit for them. My high school has us taking the vast majority of our classes through CSN (College of Southern Nevada).

CSN decides to be different in an incredibly annoying, frustrating, inconvenient way. See, the entirety of Southern Nevada has their Spring Break this week. All the bajillion schools in Clark County and UNLV. But when does CSN have their Spring Break? Not during Holy Week, like EVERY OTHER SCHOOL IN SOUTHERN NEVADA. No, it decides to have their Spring Break the week before Holy Week, because it's the exact midpoint of the semester. We've completed 8 weeks, and have 8 to go. Of course, it completely ignores the fact that since CSN is a community college made for people who live and work in Southern Nevada, it should have the same spring break as the rest of Southern Nevada so that families can be off together. No, it COMPLETELY IGNORES THAT. So the result? My brother, me, and all of my (few) friends at my high school were off last week, when nothing was going on and I had nothing to do. This week the vast majority of my friends attending public school and my mom are off this week while everything is super busy for me because of Holy Week (I sing at pretty much every Mass/service starting from Holy Thursday and ending on Easter Sunday plus I do Living Stations, plus all of the rehearsals for those things this week).

CSN is trying to sabotage me, I swear. Oh, and of course my English professor decides to start debate preps this week (debates are next week, and I'm paired with the underachievers of the class because my prof knows I'm a star student and can motivate them), plus have an annotated bibliography due next week, plus my math professor has our math test next week, plus my art professor wants us to go out to Red Rock next week to draw, plus my high school is having us do our post interview evaluations next week. Somebody please shoot me now.

I'm kind of determined to do something to change CSN's spring break time. It's been like this for years. I will find a way. I will. 


I told you I was over dramatic. 

Christ's Love

During Lent, and especially during Holy Week, Christ's sacrifice and love for us is often brought up.

They are two very beautiful things, and thinking of them always brings tears to my eyes.

I mean, just think. John 15:13 says "no one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." The greatness of love is self-sacrifice. That's kind of hard to accept, right? It's hard to live so sacrificially. Honestly, I have a hard time living out that verse, especially literally. Lay down my life? But I have everything planned and "laying down my life" isn't part of that! It's so easy to be resistant to God's will just because we have things planned OUR way. This is something I definitely need to work on in my spiritual life. I'm in my junior year of high school and taking all college classes through a special high school program. The looming threat of choosing my major and applying to colleges is approaching very, very fast. A little too fast. For the majority of this year, I have been focusing so much on looking at my plans, that I've completely forgotten to pray to God and ask Him what He wants me to do. It's hard to let go of control and put it in His hands, because I know that what He plans may not be exactly what I want.

But that's what Jesus did. That's what His Passion was. It was Him becoming "passive" to the will of God. And yeah, becoming passive meant sacrificing himself and laying down his life for his friends. That's SO powerful to me. God, God, chose to lay down his life for me. For me. How amazing is that? This is GOD we're talking about. He's infinite, omnipotent, omniscient, the fullness of love and joy and goodness, and He takes on the weakness of man (because admit it, we're pretty weak) and sacrifices Himself for me! For that girl who was Mormon but saw the beauty of the Mass through her mother. Who came to the Catholic faith older but has embraced it with arms wide open. The girl who is stubborn, bossy, opinionated, and a little crazy, but also determined, giving, bursting with emotion and full of talent that He can use.

Every time I think of what Jesus did for me, I can feel the tears well up in my eyes and my chest and throat fill up with raw emotion. And that's okay. It's a perfectly understandable and good reaction to what He's done for us. He loves me. He loves me so much that He did all of that for me. For all of us.

And I can never thank Him enough. 

My Conversion

So, a little bit about my conversion:

I converted to Catholicism on April 4, 2010 when I was 13. However, my story didn't start there.

Before becoming Catholic, I was raised Mormon by my Mormon father. In 5th and 6th grade, my dad became considerably less active in the Mormon church. Many times he would drop me off for Sacrament and pick me up after Sunday school, or ask a neighbor to bring me for him. This complete lack of faith bothered me, because I was truly invested in religion and I wanted to know more and more about my faith. Around this time, my mom, who was born and raised Catholic, started going back to church. Although I had been somewhat resistant to the Catholic faith beforehand, I went to Mass with her every once and a while when my dad couldn't bring me to Sacrament.

I slowly became more and more interested about Catholicism. Everything about the Mass was so different from what I had known from the Mormon Sacrament. As my mom taught me about Catholicism through the Mass, my heart was won over.

At the parish we went to (and still attend to this day), I felt a strong sense of community that I had never felt before. It didn't matter what Mass time you went to, it didn't even matter if your were Catholic or could go up for communion. People would still shake your hand during the Sign of Peace and hold your hand during the Our Father. They would smile at you as you entered or left the church. The whole environment of the Mass was radically different from Sacrament, where your ward only went to a single Sacrament time the whole year, and if you weren't Mormon you got sidelong looks as you had to pass over the trays with Wonder bread and small cups of water without taking any. There was no welcoming spirit or true sense of communion. I never felt God's presence in the Mormon church. But I felt it at Mass.

Throughout 6th and 7th grade, my mom taught me the hows and whats of being Catholic. One of the first things I learned was how to make the Sign of the Cross. Other symbols and prayers in the Mass quickly followed. I learned the Hail Mary and the Our Father through praying a blue rosary my mom gave me. At the end of 6th grade, I dropped the bomb shell on my dad.

I wanted to be Catholic.

Needless to say, he did NOT take it well. My dad is a very stubborn, hot tempered, and proud man. It took from the end of 6th grade to the summer before 8th before he let me join the Children's Catechumenate, which is RCIA for kids. During those nearly two years, I prayed as best as I could (which wasn't very well-the Mormon prayer I had been raised on is very cut and dry) and fought with my dad. Nearly all of those arguments ended in tears. At the time, my dad felt that I wasn't old enough to decide if I wanted to be Catholic, and if I wanted it so bad I could wait until I was 18 and an adult. Needless to say, I was heartbroken. My mom was my advocate at that time. She talked with my dad and finally, finally, he relented. I could become Catholic.

The wait did make me sad, though, because in 7th grade, a little over a year before I became Catholic, my grandpa on my mom's side, Papa, died. It made me said that I couldn't receive communion at his funeral and that he didn't get to see me become Catholic. However, my new found Catholic beliefs gave me a lot of peace after his death. The summer before 7th grade I also got to see the beauty of St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York. I desperately wish I could go back there now that I am Catholic and can understand just where I was and what amazing beauty was around me.

My time in the Children's Catechumenate and Easter Vigil will be in another post, seeing as how this one is getting long.

Hi!

Hello, Lauren here! I'm starting up my new blog and as the week goes on I'll slowly get everything up and running. I'm definitely glad to be here!

Happy Holy Week, everyone.

Lauren.